Estate Planning Without Conflict

The most common problem in estate planning for a widow is the lack of communication between family members.

A classic example of conflict is when a parent gives a “less well off” child more than they give to their other children.  The parent would be surprised to know how hurt the siblings were because they think that the parent is expressing more love to that one child.

Communication before the parent’s death will avoid a lot of misunderstanding.

Talk about each family member’s idea about fairness.

Take time to identify anyone’s feelings of being shortchanged.

Try to understand what’s going on in everyone’s life.

Separate the person from the problem to conquer it without placing blame.

Have regular family meetings, phone calls and emails so that everyone is in the loop.

It will be easier to discuss issues if you can keep it light and even show some humor.

Combining patience, open-mindedness and forgiveness and you are on the way to estate planning without conflict.  

Resources website for Estate Planning in Canada:    http://www.rbcds.com/estate-planning-guide.html

Stage of Grief - Anger

This is a great article called ” A Necessary Stage of Healing” by Jaletta Albright Desmond who is a columnist who lives in North Carolina.

“I was mad at her. Mad at God. Mad at the professionals who couldn’t read a crystal ball to tell me my daughter was definitely suicidal.  Mad at some other people who could’ve stopped what they were doing or done something differently. I was mad at myself for not seeing more clearly the signs or for failing to read her mind that day. But mostly I was mad at Jocelyn for not stopping, and taking 10 minutes to think about what she would be missing out on in life.”

Follow the link to read the full article by Jaletta Albright Desmond:    http://bdtonline.com/columns/x880883773/A-necessary-stage-of-healing

Do You Miss Your Husband's Opinion?

There was a grinding noise coming from my back wheels every time I used the brakes.  This is when I really miss having Donnie to talk over whether I should let it work itself out or go get it checked.

We may not have always agreed but we would listen to the others point of view.  Sure I could ask my son or brother in-laws, but it’s not the same.  Sometimes it’s just nice to get feedback about something that may be embarrassing or personal and I can’t imagine asking anyone but Donnie for that feedback.

Sometimes the small and even insignificant decisions can leave a widow confused.  Donnie didn’t always know best but he always cared about what was best for me.

Not having anyone but myself to talk things over with can make life seem even more lonely.  Of course I have my sisters and friends but feedback from my husband was special because he knew me best.

Am I the only one who feels this way?