AARP Study on Longevity

There has been a major shift for people between fifty and seventy-five as this generation is expected to be the healthiest and longest lived in history.

The National Center for Health Statistics reports that an American who reaches the age of sixty-five can survive to age ninety – almost doubled from forty years ago.

AARP study shows that a surprising number of people plan to work during their retirement years.  We need to stay active for our lives to have purpose, to venture into new domains and develop new skills.

For longevity “retirement” should not be in our vocabulary and we need to challenge the culture that says aging leads to the deterioration of our mind and body.  There is a social and psychological benefit from being part of the community and enjoying life as we move into our leisure years.

You may be on your own but that doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

Financial Decisions Widows Need To Make

Financial decisions have to be made every time you turn around.   Everyone has an opinion but not everyone is an expert.

This is your future security so be very cautious. 

• Ask your bank about their Financial Planning Consultants.

• Talk to your Insurance Agent about your policies and financial planning.

• See your Lawyer to redo your will and ask about a living trust fund.

• Think about preplanning your funeral – it’s a gift to the family.

• Take time to be grateful for what you do have and more abundance will come to you.

Can you afford to live the life you really want? You have to take control because ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your money. If you don’t know what to do or how to do it asking for help is your first step.   We all need support when learning new skills.   Also, give to others -not just money but in sharing of your time to help someone else.

Check out   the website http://widowed.ca/ for some great advise for Canadian widows.

Balance your check book and get your bills together. Know what is coming in and what is going out every month. Identify the expenses that are unnecessary and get rid of them.  Ask yourself what adds value to your life.   This website www.debtproofliving.com has some great advise.

Living well does not require having a lot of money. And living within your means does not mean that you have to give up those things you enjoy. The key is to stop and ask yourself what truly makes you happy and go for quality of life not quantity of things.

A Widow's Journey by Stephanie Chandler

Being a widow and knowing that you are alone is the hardest journey to take but we still have the knowledge that our husbands didn’t want to leave us. When you become a widow because your husband made that choice by taking his own life, it leaves you with whole lot of extra pain, anger and questions – some never to be answered.

Attached is a link to a great article from STEPHANIE CHANDLER   She is a reporter for the Shriver Report and an author of nine business and marketing books, including Own Your Niche. 

A Widow’s Journey Through the First Six Months

http://shriverreport.org/a-widows-journey-through-the-first-six-months/

My body shook as the officer walked toward me. He was about to confirm what I had spent the last several hours telling myself could not be true. “There is no easy way to tell you this. Your husband took his own life.” I turned, ran ten steps, and…

Having a Bad Day?

Bad days – we all have them.  One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that pain, while soul-crushing, is manageable.  The pain can steal my peace but it does leave behind experience.  This experience is more valuable then gold because it is what armors me against the emptiness and gives me the capability to help other widows.

If you’re fortunate enough to give someone else some disaster relief, it is a beautiful thing.   I’m a firm believer in the power of distraction and its cure for loneliness and frustration.

Please accept my mood swings and irritation when people say “This too shall pass”.  ”Buck up”.  ”You will find someone else”.  ”It’s time to move on”.   People need to mourn their losses their own way and memories need to be honored.

Sometimes well-meaning friends stand by and attempt to comfort by saying things like:”At least he didn’t suffer” or “Trust in God”.  These comments are meant to comfort you, but they are meaningless at this time because your pain is too great.

Understand that they don’t really know your pain unless they themselves are widows.  They are trying the best they can to comfort you and that’s what matters. Sometimes we just need to be sad and to be listened to – a hug wouldn’t hurt either.  They can’t make it better because it is what it is.  

My bad days are fewer as the years go on, but they are still part of my own journey. Discouraging feelings keep you thinking about what you can’t do instead of what you can do. They can stop you from doing anything except feeling sorry for yourself.  We can’t fix everything and sometimes life just isn’t fair. But through all this I have friends and family that I love and who love me.

Stop and think – You don’t have to stay discouraged.  Don’t listen to that gloomy inner voice that says “I’ll never be happy again”.  We all have a choice and we can work to change our inner voice and refuse to be discouraged.  Take one step at a time and think of what positive things you have in your life.

It’s easy to get discouraged about all aspects of your life when you are grieving.  Take positive steps on your journey from grieving to healing by being good to yourself.