After Donnie’s death I felt helpless. I’ll never forget those first few months of grief because it was harder than it should have been. I didn’t know at that time just how much I needed to talk to other widows.
About a year later I came to realize that talking made me feel better. I sought out other widows because I somehow knew that they would understand my journey. I think that if I hadn’t found these widows to talk to I would have gone into depression.
Lots of different people come into my life but the other widows had a connection to me that the others did not. As I got better and learned to bear my feelings, I learned to be good to myself. They taught me that I could live life as a “single” and that life goes on. Yes, it’s different but in some ways I’ve found myself as a widow in a deeper sense than if I was still married.
For sure I would love to still be married and have Donnie to share my life with, but that is my past and in my memories. I’ve learned that the present is for me so I focus on what being good to myself really means. Sometimes it is as simple as taking a long hot bath, a glass of wine with friends or sitting down to write a blog about grieving and healing.
But after all these years one thing has never changed – talking makes me feel better. I thank God every day for family and friends that I can share a conversation with. Sometimes its in laughter and sometimes its serious, but its always with those that care. What more can we ask for?
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