Widows may slip into denial when their lives take a
different path and they are on their own again.
One major denial is that we are on our own and that we will sometimes need
help. We assume responsibilities
unnecessarily because we don’t want to admit that life has changed and we are
finding it hard to be single without our husbands.
It is a heavy burden to be responsible for everything and if
we aren’t careful we will slowly forget how to play. We may go from lack of play, to being starved
of any joy, to feeling unsupported and unloved.
When we are in the denial stage, we refuse to hear what
others suggest because we feel that they don’t understand. We may think, “It’s easy for you to say, but
you still have your husband.” Denial is
characterized by feeling unappreciated and trapped without options in a life
you didn’t plan for.
Ironically, when we are in denial, we are our own worst
enemy because we don’t seek help. When
others offer to help, say “Yes” and share some of the responsibility. Family and friends hand us a gift by being
there for us. They don’t know what to do
but they want to help. You may not be
able to hear their offer because you are thinking that you can do it all. Don’t
deny them a chance to do something for you.
Widows tend to compound their problems by undervaluing the
potential help others are willing to give.
Slow down and look at the big picture.
There were two of you and now there is only one – it’s o.k. to ask for
and receive a little help.
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