Happiness Over The Holidays

Abraham Lincoln said “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

It is not what happens to us in life that determines our happiness so much as the way we react to what happens.

If you just lost your job, you can decide that now you have the opportunity to go back to school, explore new possibilities or be self employed.  Your friend might, under the same circumstances, decide to sit at home feeling sorry for themselves or give up on life and commit suicide.  One person sees opportunity while another sees only disaster.

If we lose a loved one of course we see no opportunity, but the fact remains that we decide how we react and in turn how we heal.

Even if we lose control, that is still a decision that we make.  Being happy is not always easy and is one of the greatest challenges of life.  Life is hard and it takes all the determination, persistence and self-discipline that we can muster to control our happiness.

We decide the thoughts we think – no one else controls our mind.  To be happy, we need to concentrate on positive thoughts.  Example:  How often do we ignore the compliments that are paid to us and yet dwell on an unkind remark for weeks afterwards?  If you allow a negative remark to occupy your thoughts, you will attract more negative feelings.

Remember, we are in control of our own thoughts.  Most people remember the good things for a few minutes and the insults for years afterwards.

If we are not careful we will carry about the trash that was said or done to us over the next twenty years.  If you are thinking that you want to be a really happy person someday, why don’t you start now?

The day that you decided to be a whole lot happier than you were before – you will be stunned because it actually works!

Ask happy people how they came to be so happy and their answers may sound like this:  “I had enough misery, heartache, loneliness and I DECIDED to change my life.”  Being happy means cleaning out your “mental home” – throwing out the trash and hanging onto the treasures. 

• Being happy is seeing the beautiful view instead of the dirty windows.
• Being happy is choosing who you hang with.
• Being happy requires looking for the positive every day.
• Being happy requires being grateful for what you do have.

The bottom line is that happiness is a choice – many wealthy people are unhappy and many healthy people are unhappy while many poor and sickly people are happy and grateful.  It’s your choice – choose well!

What You Want Versus What You Need

One way to take care of yourself is by looking at what you want versus what you need.

You may ask – What is the difference between the two?  Simply put a want is something we hope will make us happy but rarely does and a need is something we require for our survival. 

Many people have all their wants and everything they go after, but they are not happy.  They feel successful but ask “Do I really need what I am chasing?”

When I took my motorcycle license I learned to never look at where I didn’t want to go because I would naturally move towards where I looked.  The lesson is if you don’t want it, don’t focus on it.

How would you feel if you worked hard to get something, only to discover you didn’t need it in the first place?  It really pays to stop and look at where you are going and what is best for you.

It’s very simple – the more you take care of yourself, the more you feel well taken care of.

When things aren’t going well for you try to uncomplicated your life and cut away more and more of the stress to arrive at the core of what makes you happy.

So I’m going to ask you to think about what you can do to uncomplicated your life, to think about what you want versus what you need.

 Sometimes the more simple life is, the more peaceful it is.

Resource For Widows

Inside “The Sisterhood of Widows”  you will find sixteen widows to assist you in healing. These widows will really open your eyes to where you stand and may even help you getunstuck if you feel stuck or stagnant in your life right now.

Here’s the problem – most widows make their decisions without much thought.  In fact, most sort of stumble into their life while it’s never been easier than it is today to get up and choose a new environment.

You need to take charge of your life and start planning for a future that is totally different than what you had hoped for.

As far as the people you choose to surround yourself with, well, some of them may not agree with your decisions. And new relationships may come into your life.  Not easy to hear, but often the reality.  And the place you choose to live and work, that’s easier to fix than you may think. You can live or do business virtually anywhere today.

Your biggest change was the loss of your husband, after that you can handle anything that comes your way.

All of these are often times just decisions.  Nothing more – nothing less.  It’s the meaning we attach to the decisions that often cripple us the most, not the decisions themselves…

So take the leap.  Get the book, The Sisterhood of Widows, learn from other widows and start to heal.  http://sisterhoodofwidows.com/featured-products/

A New Future

I know you can hardly think ahead from day to day but to heal you must have a vision for a new future.

We spend years planning and creating a vision of our future shared with our loved ones and when that vision is crushed we need to create a new one.  If you don’t you will drift along with no safe harbor and no enjoyment in life. 

Your vision can start by thinking about where you want to be in one year, two years, five years.  The first step is to invest some time and energy into creating a mental picture of yourself happy, secure and settled.  Put your thoughts down on paper to help convert your vision into goals that you want to achieve.

Don’t worry about feeling sad for what you have lost – that is normal and to be expected. Work through that sadness to create a vision of a life you can find joy and contentment in.  

This future of joy and contentment will not come in a few months or even a few years but to escape depression you need to have faith and hope for your future and this vision will give it to you.

 When you have something to strive for and it’s critical that you do, you can start to think of a future that will help you heal.

Are You Searching For Meaning?

I’ve been writing for years about the fact that what we put out is what we get back, no exception.  It doesn’t matter what comes into your life as much as how you react to it.

You need to understand that no one is responsible for your future but you.  You create your current and future reality thought by thought because that is the “Law of Attraction”.  What you think and give attention to only gets bigger.  Focus on what’s good so that you will attract even more things into your life to be grateful for.

Now this doesn’t mean that everything well always be great because bad stuff still happens. You will never be in total control of everything unless you lock yourself away from the world and even that’s no guarantee.

The wonder of life is that even when we are down and things seem hopeless, we still have the freedom of choice and can choose who we want to be and how we will react.

You will draw to yourself that which you put out.  ”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is an old saying that still rings true.

Start asking yourself:

• What kind of person do I want to be?
• Why am I here?
• What do I have to offer?

By asking the right questions your search for meaning will unfold in surprising ways.