Children and Grief

So often children’s feelings are left unaddressed and thus, we send the message that their feelings are unimportant.  This can start a life cycle where they learn to bury their feelings under deep layers because encouragement was not offered for them to freely express themselves.

They need understanding and patience, comfort and acceptance, but are often missed because we are experiencing our own grief and loss.

- Choose a time to talk to your child without interruptions and distractions.

- Choose a place that is quiet and comfortable – like a walk in a park.

-  Be relaxed and open to what they have to say.

-  Be aware of their age and level of understanding.

-  Keep focused on the child by giving them your full attention.
 Listen patiently and if you don’t have the answers just say so.

-  Show your love and faith that things will work out.

-  Be aware that children watch how you are acting with others because your actions are more powerful than your words.

It’s hard to tell a child that death is part of life and we grow from it, but we can help each other by just talking openly about the death of their loved one.

Children are just small people and in their grief need the same thing we need – kindness, understanding, compassion and love.

Helping Children Deal With The Holidays

Include your children when you talk about Christmas without their father.  It is a time of insecurity and they need to feel security by letting them know in advance how Christmas is going to be celebrated.

Ask the children what they want to do and also what they don’t want.  It is best to know ahead of time what is going to happen rather than approach the day without any plans.

Get their input about an appropriate gift or donation in memory of their father.

Put a new decoration on the tree in memory of their father and let them choose it.

If you want to burn a special memory candle – let them buy it.

Christmas can be overwhelming and they may need a break from family so if they want to visit their friends, let them.

Encourage children to talk about their father.  Although it can be painful, it will help them to share memories and express their feelings.