True Friends

After the death of your husband, true friends will be easy to spot.  They will stand by you no matter how uncomfortable things are.  They don’t have to say a word because they understand your grief and can sense both when you need to be alone and when you need them beside you.

Unfortunately, this is where friends who don’t understand will also be easy to spot.  They just want everything to return to normal in their world.  They want to “hurry up the process of grief” because they find you too depressing to be around.

But life is not normal and will never be “normal” as it was when your loved one was with you.  Your world has changed and adjusting to it has to come on your timeline and not someone else’s.

Don’t feel guilty or sad over friends that seem emotionally shallow.  They probably have never experienced the loss of a loved one and so don’t know how it feels.

Also, don’t worry about the friends that have faded away but instead appreciate those true friends that have stayed with you.

Beautiful Lengths

Wigs For Cancer Patients

One of the widows in our Chick’s Night Out group was telling us about how you can donate your healthy ponytail for a special woman who is battling cancer.

Her daughter, Brianna Starkey, did just that and sent her ponytail off to “Beautiful Lengths”.  They sent Brianna a heartwarming thank letter for donating her hair.

It takes roughly six ponytails to make one high quality, real-hair wig.  They work closely with the American Cancer Society who distributes the wigs, at no cost, to female cancer patients.

If you are interested in finding out more about this program and the incredible difference that it is making, please visit  www.beautifullengths.com.  

Thank you Brianna for showing us that reaching out to help others doesn’t have to be a big event.   You have reminded us that we can all make a difference by small acts of kindness.

Widow's Newsletter - Our Shared Journey

March 2013 Newsletter for widows. It has an article from me, a guest article, book of the month, quote of the month, product information and free audio of Chapter One. If you enjoy the newsletter please "like" on Facebook. Thank you, Mary Francis


http://myemail.constantcontact.com/How-To-Use-Law-of-Attraction-.html?soid=1104263796779&aid=UPGfyJoMZyI

How To Use Law of Attraction.

myemail.constantcontact.com

Did you know that what you give your attention, energy and focus to (whether negative or positive) is what you are attracting into your life?

Article Written by Joan Wickerham

Grief is a lot weirder than we think. 

It doesn’t follow a logical course or conform to any predictable timetable. Yet we persist in making comments about how other people are doing it. And worse, we are constantly, secretly convinced that because our own grief doesn’t proceed according to our expectations, we must be doing it wrong.

Read the full article by Joan at:  http://tinyurl.com/bbx8djt 

Older and Wiser

Over the last several years I have read many books on health and one of my favorites is “Older & Wiser” by Richard M. Restak, M.D.

Here are a few factors for healthy aging from Richard Restak:

• Education
• Curiosity
• Energy
• Keeping Busy
• Regular Physical Activity
• Acceptance of unavoidable limitations
• Seeking out diversity and Novelty
• Keeping up with friends and a social life
• Spending time with younger people

What it boils down to is keeping yourself physically healthy, using your mind and keeping a positive and cheery mood.

Get out of the house to lunch with friends.  Read something that challenges you and travel whenever you get a chance.

Don’t ever stop learning because education enables you to extend your life. There are lots of opportunities for late-life learning so always ask questions and be curious .

 “I often tell people who neglect the opportunity for additional learning and education that they are living in a house with five rooms that they have yet to visit.”   Quoted from “Older & Wiser”

I’ve talked to many widows that have grown wiser from the pain of living a life of loss.  There is a lot of wisdom out there to be shared so please add to this post by including your advice on how to grow older & wiser in a healthy way.

Do You Have a Spirit of Integrity?

If you are living a life of integrity there will be harmony at every level: body, mind and spirit.

Spirituality is about the longing of every human for a deeper sense of meaning and purpose that goes far beyond our daily struggle to "just get by".  Having faith and integrity is not something one can easily describe or be taught because they must be experienced to be understood.

I encourage you to be open-minded about your place in this world and to consider the possibility that you are a spiritual being here to live a life of integrity.

Question is - if a life of integrity gives us deeper meaning than why do many of us act in ways that lack integrity?

All of our choices have pros and cons and doing the right thing may be more troublesome and less convenient and so we take the easy way.

Own up to where you are making the easy choices rather than the right choices.  This self-reflection will give you a healthy does of humility.  It's time to think about your integrity in life choices and how they are impacting the quality of your life.

When Unhappiness Turns To Depression

For some widows, depression starts as a reaction to the loss of their spouse and the feeling of being trapped by grief.

Loss is an unavoidable part of this life and it's an enormous struggle to sort through the grief and heal.

One of the most critical facts is that there is a difference between those that are grieving and those that are in depression.

Our thoughts concerning our husband's death are what affects our mood.  In those of us who get depressed, it's because our beliefs or interpretations of the event can make an already low mood even lower.

The huge emotional upheaval that comes from experiencing loss is normal.  They signal to us that we are in distress and that we need to take care of ourselves so we can heal.

What we have to watch out for is when sadness turns into permanent negative thinking that generates tension, aches, pains, fatique and lack of joy in life.

When our moods feed more negative thinking, compounding our feelings of sadness than it's turned from unhappiness caused by grief into depression and it may require professional help.