Old Friends - Stages Of Grief

As you’ve discovered grief is quite painful and you need your friends more then ever. Unfortunately, many couple friends are lost when you are no longer part of a couple.

Your old couple friends may have a party and your not invited.  You find out about it later, it hurts and makes you angry.  The problem is made worse by your own feelings of withdrawal and emotional pain.  Social relationships may need to be rebuilt around new friends and hobbies.  Try something new – I took up curling in a ladies league, made some new friends and had lots of fun.

It is worthwhile to work at keeping your old friends.  All friendships take some commitment, but you may find that going out with couples just doesn’t appeal to you.  Perhaps as time goes by your relationship with old friends will change to suit your life as a single, but don’t be surprised if some old friends drift away.

This is part of your grief journey – as you find your new path you will also find some great new friends.

Fear - Stages Of Grief

Have you ever been lost?  That feeling of not knowing how to find your way feels life threatening and can make you fearful.

It can be so overwhelming that you want to hide from your fear  by either not leaving your house or by surrounding yourself with people all the time.

What can you do to overcome your fears and gain the courage you need?  One thing you have to watch out for is being over-caring to others, always being a people-pleaser and getting into unhealthy relationships because you are lost in your grief journey.

You need to make your own way - find your own path - restore your balance so that you can be healthy both physically and mentally.  Fear will take hold of you and stop you from taking any action out of the storm and into the light.  Fear lives in the dark so move towards happiness and laughter and find yourself in the process.

Widowed.ca

I have a great article posted in the website for widowed.ca that offers lots of tips and advice for those who have lost a loved one.

How To Get Rebalanced - http://goo.gl/Lpr8W

I hope you enjoy it.

Denial - Stage Of Grief

Denial as in “I can’t believe this is happening” can be a safety mechanism for when our pain is overwhelming us.  By putting our pain into “denial” we give ourselves some time to digest what is happening

The bad news is that we can become reluctant to move out of denial and face the pain of recovery.  It is hard to adjust to changes of any kind and we may be at such a low point of self, that we just don’t think we are capable of making the journey.

How about you?  Are you still at the denial stage of grief or have you come out from underneath it?  Be aware of “denial” and open yourself up to the grieving process because you have to grieve before you can heal.

What Is Healing?

How does a person define “Healing”?  It can mean different things at different times in our lives.  I think it is an ongoing process, a journey that has no real end.

Healing has a crooked path with a lot of  ups and downs.  One day your doing great, the next your sad and then the third day it’s hard just to get out of bed.   Then something good happens, and you’re back on your feet again.  Or maybe you have a hard morning and a great afternoon – that’s the grief and healing journey.  In fact – that’s life!

No one gets out of this life without trials, pain and loss.  The ultimate in life is to continue to heal and reach out to others.  Be the best mother, daughter and friend you can be.  It’s the only life you have, so work to find your path and make the future into something you are proud of.

Leave your family and friends with fond memories of their times with you because life isn’t lived in a vacuum.  We affect others by our actions, just like others have an affect on us.  I find the subject of whether or not a person is healing to be very complex.  It’s usually not black or white and the results can not always be seen on the surface.  But one thing is for sure – each person has control of their own journey.

Are You Hurting?

Go ahead, acknowledge when you’re hurting.  It’s natural, expected and even healthy to feel the pain so you can eventually heal.

Can I help you?  Well, I can at least share with you some of the stories from widows who have suffered the same loss as you have.  The growth that takes place when you share your stories is remarkable.   There is a healing process – a learning of who you are as a person and not as a couple.

What do you do to heal?  Well, you can use your pain to motivation yourself to find your new path .  It’s not easy and it takes a lot of hard work, but you can do it.  After all,  your life is worth rebuilding.  It is a difficult journey but I know you have the strength and stamina to make it.

Start by reaching out to others that understand your journey, keep a journal, read about widows that have travel your path and make an effort to get out of the house and do something positive – just for you.   Treasure your memories: both the ones in the past and the ones in your future.