Have You Been Hiding Behind A Mask?

A mask is an image that you project so that others believe that is who you are.  But it stops others from really knowing how your feeling and may even keep you from knowing yourself.

You may not want to take off your mask because you don’t want others to see the sadness underneath.  But when you take that leap of faith, you will often experience more closeness with friends and family.

It can be exhausting always wearing that “happy face” mask.  Let people know what you are really feeling instead of always having to appear strong.  When your mask gets too heavy have faith in yourself and throw it away.  The real you will be out in the open and then you can start rebuilding your life.

Chick's Night Out

It was another great night out with the ladies.  We had some sharing time about how we all survived the holidays - had a great lunch with some recipes exchanging and our usual  good times.

Brenan's has a big screen TV, so next month it's going to be movie and popcorn with all the ladies.  I am so thankful for the fun and companionship this group brings to each other.

If you get a chance please join us.  The more the merrier and there is always room to set up another card table for 45's or games.   Some months we will be bringing in guest speakers and doing different things - just for the fun of it.  And that is where the healing really begins.

To Our Shared Journey - January 2012 Newsletter

Happy New Year 2012 - January Newsletter with resource links.

http://conta.cc/vOWg3k via #constantcontact

Surviving Widowhood

To “survive” as per the dictionary means “to live after the death of another person; to continue, endure; to come through alive”.

I think that surviving widowhood is more than just “coming through alive”. It’s a journey where you grow stronger and more independent. You really have no choice because grief wants to take over your life. You will not “come through alive” – in fact you will just be letting the world pass you by.

Do more than “survive” – get to know yourself and come out swinging. Stand up and fight for a life that is full of friends and family. Join groups, volunteer, find your passion and just go do it. Don’t feel bad that your the one that’s alive – instead be even more alive by seeking out positive people.

Be a survivor in more than body – be a survivor in your heart and soul.

Christmas As A Widow

     It’s just a few days from Christmas and I’m enjoying my Christmas tree.   I wasn’t planning on putting up a tree – after all its just me and it seemed like alot of work.  But my daughter thought I should have one and came over to help me decorate it.  Funny thing is that I enjoy sitting and watching the lights every night as the Christmas music plays far more than I thought I would.

     I guess that sometimes it takes someone else to know what is best for us.  I will be going to spend Christmas with my son and family so I thought it was unnecessary.  But now I can’t help thinking how bare and sad my place would seem without that beautifully lit up tree.  I know it was work sitting it up and it will seem like even more work taking it all down but I’m glad that Angela got me to do it.

     Even though I am living alone, I am not alone.  I have lots of great friends and family and that is the difference.  That is way I don’t have to think “lonely” but need instead to think “blessed” and enjoy the season.

     I hope you also decorated your home and bless your own family with your love for them.   Merry Christmas from my home to yours.

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Lighting Of The Memorial Christmas Tree

I went to the Christmas Memorial Service at Brenan's Funeral Home tonight.  It was the first time I went and I just felt that I needed to be there.  The joyous holiday season can be somewhat of a struggle when you don't have your spouse, but it's things like this that help.

As I listened to the choir and watched the lighting of the memory candles I could feel the peace of the season.  It was healing to be with hundreds of others that were also there to honor their loved ones.

Brenan's gave everyone a memento, a white band that say "In Memory" and I think that sums it up perfectly.  Our loved ones will always be "In Memory" and they need to be part of the season.  Lighting a memory candle is a great way to celebrate their lives and honor our memories of them.

A Widow's Holiday Season

I'm rethinking the whole holiday season of social times, and classic Christmas movies and eating till I gain ten pounds. With the loss of our loved ones there is a missing part to our lives and the season of joy can be hard to come by. I went on a bus trip, Christmas shopping with some girlfriends and getting out for some fun. On the trip they showed the movie "Mrs. Miracle" which is a Christmas story of a widowed man caught in his grief. I'm sitting there with tears running down my cheeks - it was just so hard to watch and I could so relate to the emptiness he felt. This will be my fourth holiday season without my Donnie and I have come to realize that I have to find my own joy and peace for the holidays. I'm looking forward to our large family get together this year from great-great Aunts and Uncles to the new babies in the family. As the new generation enjoys the holiday season new traditions and memories will be made. Some people go their entire life missing the small miracles of the season. We get caught up in the marketing done by media and business. The truth is that small miracles, watching a grandchild's first steps and the giggles of a child at play are the blessings that will make us laugh and smile at life. I wish you a very Happy Holiday Season and although every day may not be filled with joy, I hope that you share your time with family and friends. Take time to search for those small miracles that will bring you some blessings of peace and joy. To our shared journey Mary Francis